One Word 365

I am writing this today on my blog, my one word for 2012.  I am not much of a blogger, in fact, I am pathetic, in terms of blogging, but I want to do this, this year, have a word that the Lord can use to change my life, for the better. The word that comes to mind is trust.  I have been a christian for 45 years, spent more than 25 years in ministry with my husband, raised 10 children, I should be really good at trusting the Lord, and honestly I feel like I am, but I know that I still worry about stuff, money, kids, husband, the future, my job...ok so I am not so good at trust!  This should be good...I hope!

Dear Lord

Lord, I am trying to trust you for everything, right now we need money for food, our house payment, garbage, electricity and gas, phones, and we are so behind Lord on everything and as you know, it is Christmas, and we have the whole family coming home for the holiday.  Food, presents, oh Lord it is so much! Now the final straw is that both Mark and I are not working during the last week of this month (not our choice but our employers) so we will have even less to work with.  I know you can do all things, please help us through this time.  Please?
I thank you for your answers, what ever they are.

I figured it out!

I figured it out, I know now why I feel young on the inside and look old on the outside!  It is because we are infinite beings!  We were made, (our souls) to live forever, that's why we feel different on the inside!  Big epiphany for me. Everything makes more sense, God made us to live with him forever!  Some of us choose to ignore his most generous offer but we still have that option.

I am 55 on the outside but 20 something on the inside...weird

I am about to turn 55 years old, just a month away, but when I look at my self in the mirror, I am kind of shocked!  I am the same basic person I was when I was a 20 something year old.  Sure I have matured some, I don't feel any different inside.  But when I look in the mirror, I see this older woman, with some wrinkles,and a ton of  gray hair, who is she?  Where did the girl with thick curly black hair go?  I know she is still here, but when I catch my reflection in a window, I am a little shocked!
I should back up a little bit, I am the wife of one man, for 33 years, we have 11 children, 8 boys and 3 girls.  I have had a child die in my arms, have another child born prematurely and spend 2 months in intensive care, our house burn down and lose everything, had my husband have two heart attacks and almost die.  I guess I have earned the gray hair and wrinkles, but I still am a little taken aback that there is an old woman looking at me when I look in a mirror.  Anyone else have that happen or am I just weird?